Growing up, confidence was something I always wanted for myself. I always thought it was hard to achieve though because it took me a long time to find it. I’ve seen people who are so full of it, and I’ve always wished I have the confidence that they’re exhibiting.
When I was younger, I admired the confident kids– they join and win contests, they’re popular, and always seem to get what they want. When I became an adult, I observed that the more confident you are, the higher chances you will get promoted, get more clients, win friends, and get a guy you like. My definition of confidence has evolved overtime, it became deeper and more connected to life’s purpose.
What is confidence, really?
I believe real confidence comes from within. It’s owning yourself, reigning in your thoughts, and having a powerful belief system. True confidence is all about the feeling of well-being. It allows you to be at peace with yourself while trying to get the results you want while making people feel good when dealing with them.
My confidence played a huge role in my daily routine and helped me experience higher levels of happiness and contentment.
My shy self
I was a shy girl growing up and couldn’t always find the confidence I’ve wanted. I feared many many things. I never wanted the spotlight and would always prefer to be in the background. My childhood was less than ideal. I have often felt ‘less than’, incapable, and intimidated by people and situations.
In my journey, I have observed that one’s environment and experiences are the biggest factors why a person lacks self-confidence. In my case, it was childhood, relationships, and failures.
I began searching for answers on how I can really build my confidence. I found myself reading a bunch of self-help books, I have gained a number of knowledge but barely practiced it.
Since I was determined to improve and get out of my space back then, I chose to overcome my fears and took the confidence leap.
Confidence is built over time.
My shy self continued to teens and early adulthood, but I am a dreamer. My dream was to move out from that space. I knew that time my confidence could save me. They say that when you want something really bad, you’ll find a way. And if you don’t, you’ll find an excuse. And so I did, I found my way and changed my situation little by little.
You may have heard these statements: Rome wasn’t built in a day, or eat an elephant one bite at a time. The truth is, well, anything is possible when broken down into small enough steps. You can build your confidence, one step at a time.
I am a firm believer of the law of compounding. If you want to build a habit or a skill, focus on that thing, start building time and effort to that habit or skill and be consistent.
Success doesn’t happen overnight. Your work compounds, you become more skillful, and so, your value increases as well.
How do you become more confident?
You can start building your confidence through self-awareness, clarity, and action.
When you become more self-aware and accept the things you need to improve in your life, you tell the universe that you’re ready to level up and move closer to your goals. You need self- awareness if you want to change something. When you need to change your situation, you need to be aware of the beliefs, the mindset, habits, and things that don’t work for you.
When you have the clarity of what you want, you can identify what doesn’t work and what will help you move closer to your goals. Know what you want and know what you don’t want. Having goals is going to be your road map. To have a meaningful journey, you need to choose where you will go, what ride you are going to use, who you want to go with, and why you want to go there. Be clear on those things. Clarity takes you to places and so is confidence.
It’s that time when I finally decided to stop hiding behind books and self-help courses and take action that made me feel that true confidence is happening. When I finally step out of my comfort zone, that’s when I have become more confident. I started conversing with achievers, I started writing, I started speaking in public (you’re lucky if you didn’t see my first public speech! I was awful, I laugh and cringe at the thought of it but that moment was all worth it.), I started to reach out to potential clients, I started to build a business, and more!
I know it’s hard to take that first step when you don’t feel good about yourself. If your brain is telling you, you can’t do it or you’re not good enough. Prove it wrong by taking action. You may not always get things right the first time but when you fail, you get opportunities to practice dealing with uncomfortable situations. So, the next time you’re faced in that same situation, it’s already familiar to you, you become more comfortable, and more confident.
Why Confidence is Queen
Here are some of some reasons why confidence matters and why you need it to succeed.
Confidence helps you get what you want.
Confidence helps you to finally start moving closer to your dreams. It allows you to become more assertive in communicating your goals to others.
Confidence helps you make better decisions.
When you have confidence, you are aware of the things that you can control. People who lack confidence tend to be controlled by other people or circumstances, affecting their decisions and often living their lives with regrets.
Confidence helps protect you, physically and emotionally.
Confident people can say “no”. They understand that they do not need to take unnecessary or inappropriate work or obligations. Confidence also allows you to stand up for yourself when you are unfairly treated or unheard.
Confidence makes you stronger.
People who lack confidence often live in Fear of many things– Fear of failure, Fear of what others think, Fear of the unknown—thus leading to paralysis or inaction. You need confidence to face and overcome your fears. Confidence also lets you know your limits and test them. When you stretch your limits, you increase them. You then become stronger and more able of overcoming the challenges ahead of you.
Confidence can make a difference.
There maybe a lot of people who are smarter and far more talented than I am in many areas but couldn’t get what they want because of the lack of confidence and I want to help them because I believe when good people are more confident and happy, they can create more opportunities and abundance for others. Confidence helps you live your purpose.
My confidence took me to places and allowed me to inspire and help more people. I am so glad because my confidence took this article to you. I believe true confidence is key to a happier, content, and successful life.
What would you be doing if you have that confidence?